Clarice James

Smart, Fun, Relatable Fiction

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The Great American Whine Flu

StopWhining400“In holy worship they’ll honor the Holy One of Jacob and stand in holy awe of the God of Israel. Those who got off-track will get back on-track, and complainers and whiners learn gratitude.” ~ Isaiah 29:23-24 (MSG)

I want to become less of a whiney American, as in a United-States-of-America American. [Whether the Great American Whine Flu has spread over the borders into Canada or Central and South America, I cannot say.]

Here on the home front, I will start in these small ways:

  • I promise not to stand in the cereal aisle and whine nasally, “But it’s so ha-rd to decide with all these choices.”
  • If a retail store’s computer is hacked by criminals, I’ll cut up my card and cut my losses. I won’t threaten them with a class action lawsuit. Besides, any pockets lined by winning that case will NOT be mine.
  • If television continues to offer trashy and ignorant reality shows filled with fake, tasteless drama (and people), I will stop watching them. I have the power; it’s as close as the off button on the remote.
  • In addition to the price tag, I will check the “Made in . . . ” labels before I start my self-righteous rants about the horrors of child labor.
  • Before I argue that every citizen in this grand country of ours deserves flat screens in every room, the latest technology for their pre-teens, huge master baths and  walk-in closets, and brand new vehicles in their three-car garages, I will take a closer look at the Native Americans.
  • Before I whine about all the candidates running for President, I will be thankful I am not one of them and more thankful I can vote.
  • Before I complain about the songs my church’s worship leaders select, I will be thankful for the freedom to worship.

book-ugly-americanAs for any opinion foreign nations may have of me as an American, I hope to make a small difference in the future:

  • If I ever visit Switzerland, I promise not to say, “What’s with all the cuckoo clocks? Doesn’t anyone here own a smart phone?”
  • If I take a trip to Rome, I won’t wear a belly shirt to the Vatican and complain, “I could never live in this neighborhood. The buildings are in ruins.”
  • If I end up on House Hunters International looking for a free-range, sustainable lifestyle, I will try not to get filmed saying, “What? No stainless steal appliances?” or “What’s with all those ugly windmills?”
  • If I go north to Canada, I won’t ask, “Why’s it so cold up here?” Or, if I go south to Ecuador, I won’t say, “Why’s it so hot?”
  • If I visit Iceland (which is not on my bucket list, by the way), I won’t assume all their clocks are wrong because the sun is out at midnight.
  • If I decide to go over the border to Mexico, I promise not to ask, “Don’t you have any real Mexican food like Taco Bell?”
  • If London is my final destination, I won’t complain that they don’t speak English clearly. At least they try.
  • Whatever country I visit outside of my own, I will refuse to use this phrase: “That’s not the way we do in the States.”

Need I go on? I could, you know. But then that would be whining–or worse, preaching.


PS: God? If I don’t whine for a while, do you think maybe I could get that new kitchen I want? I would really appreciate it. No, really, I would. Pleeeese . . .

Enoch, the seventh after Adam, prophesied of them: “Look! The Master comes with thousands of holy angels to bring judgment against them all, convicting each person of every defiling act of shameless sacrilege, of every dirty word they have spewed of their pious filth.” These are the “grumpers,” the bellyachers, grabbing for the biggest piece of the pie, talking big, saying anything they think will get them ahead. ~ Jude 1:14 (MSG)