I’m a person with a list of a thousand things–all good things–I want to do before I die. Sometimes I think I have to cram them all into one month. When my activities start to overlap, things get pushed around: my priorities out of order, my finances out of line, my emotions out of control, and my back, well, just out.

Recently, when my serenity was crowded out by busyness, I had a hard time hearing God’s voice. And I needed to. [Duh.] So I prayed for the Lord to speak loud enough for me to hear over the din of my daily activities. He gave me this personalized paraphrase of 1 Kings 19:11-14 instead.

Go stand over there and be quiet. Don’t check your email or Facebook and stay away from Pinterest. Wait for God to speak.

A critique group praised my manuscript and bolstered my hopes before God, but God wasn’t to be found in the critique group; after the critique, a great idea for a writing workshop, but God wasn’t in the workshop; and after the great idea, positive remarks on a blog, but God wasn’t in the positive remarks or the blog; and after the positive remarks, a gentle and quiet whisper.

When Clarice heard the quiet voice, she muffled her face with her great lap blanket, went to the mouth of her writing cave, and stood there. A quiet voice asked, “So Clarice, now tell me, what are you doing here?” Clarice said it again, “I’ve been writing my heart out for God, the God-of-the-Angel-Armies, because the people of God have turned toward the secular market, destroyed your places of Christian publication, and murdered the written word. I’m the only one left, and now they’re trying to kill me.”

Oh, the ego of it all! When I feel like I’m not able to give up some of my activities, writing or otherwise, because there is no one who can possibly replace me, that’s when I know I’m in trouble. BIG FAT PRIDE TROUBLE.

To make it right as quick as I can, I want to “clear my cache” and start again. However, if I’m not careful, I could rush the process and eliminate the wrong things.

So . . . now I’m waiting– really waiting– to hear the Lord’s gentle whisper. When the cache is cleared, I will hit refresh.